Moving In - 6 August

 I'd hoped to post sequential posts as we left Saint Petersburg about all the people and places I am grieving leaving. But the reality of moving required too much time and energy for public processing. So I'll jump in to the present, and hope to go back in time for more tributes as I have time to process in the next few weeks :)

So the present -- we have been in our new home for 10 days. From day one, we have been so grateful for many generous friends. Julie and John, and Julie and Tracy have given us homes to sleep in for as many nights as we needed. Ken and Ann, John and Sandy not only sold us a lot of discounted furniture, but threw in many extra items for free that have filled our home with beauty. And Jennifer, Chris-Mary and Susan Mussallem Heckmann all offered us multiple free items. We have unpacked the container that Marie, James, Trisha, Mike and others generously loaded for us a month ago, and also the one that Dani Coleman and kids helped us pack in Colorado to clear out our storage unit.

Now we are doing the emotional work to integrate all of our stuff into one physical space for the first time in 24 years. Not only the things we brought from our previous home, but we also unpacked the last box of wedding gifts (extra plates), photographs and cross-stitch hangings from our childhood homes, items we inherited from our grandparents, and most sadly, items cherished or made by Eric's mother. Joy and tears mingle as we grieve and celebrate. And the sheer number of wall decorations waiting is overwhelming!

Leaving and Grieving - Eric's running loop

This is my loop. About a hundred times a year for the past six years I've gotten to enjoy running through one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Grateful today for this beautiful route that God has used to strengthen my body and restore my soul. And I'm reminded of the routes that came before — of the Smolenka canal, Sosnovka Park, Svyatoshin, and the woods behind Universitietskii. In every place God has called us, He has always cared for us by providing a place to run and be restored. I look forward to seeing what that place looks like in the next season. But I know it won't be as beautiful as this one...

Leaving and Grieving - Stuff - 3 July

 Moving internationally requires a severe culling that is heart wrenching. Thirty some teammates over 20 some years, 3 countries and 3 continents… all our children’s toys and books and sheets (!) and dishes. While they are just ‘things’ the memories are so meaningful … Today, fibers from my heart were woven across the city. It brings me joy to see our friends and those in need take home our well used skis, skates, stuffed animals, dishes, and furniture.

Our toy shelves went to the school yesterday, leaving a hole that was created by 12 years of heavy use.

Trisha, Chris, we kept your pasta all these years in the jar you gave us. Annette, your precious teapot went to the Chersunova Chersunov... April, your pizza stone served us well once we upgraded to euro-ovens...

Dalmation blanket was our landlord's in Kyiv. Big bear was a treasure from Tanya Duca... Fluffy bear blanket/robe was from Marilyn and Ray not too long ago... Ella Coe

old linens, so many memories... Timothy Coe, Daniel Jay Coe Ella Coe

Trisha and Chris, remember your sleds?

These went with us so many years!

Hung in 4 apartments but heavy and outgrown... still want to take it!

Leaving and Grieving - Yelagin - 29 June

 Yelagin, for years, you have been a place of surprising beauty, peace and reflection.

You are a place of reflection, both figuratively and literally. You taught me to wait in stillness until I can see past the ripple patterns, then past the beautiful reflections, and down into the depths.... of the water and my soul

You are a place of community. I first remember seeng your 'zoo' with the Miner family. Christina took us boating years ago! My parents (Ray and Marilyn) forded your heavy snow in the extreme cold, Daniel Jay celebrated multiple birthdays on your ice, once Meredith shed her blood. I guess you are a place of injuries-giving me my only concussion (Eric Timothy, Ella, Anna , Evert Jan).

Anne and Melissa, we walked at least once, and this year I finished my school role with the long-dreamed of weekly community walks (Heather, Joy, Maria, 김인숙, Sachiko Uota, Charlotte, David, multiple students and I'm sure others I'm missing!)

I appreciate the Russian value of nature, expressed in the gardens and parks, and this island, for human-powered traffic only!

my spot, overlooking the rowing canal on the left

Just yesterday, Kim Insuk and I did a little extra exploring after walking with the group!

Ray and Marilyn, you were troopers

My favorite spot to sit and reflect is at the yellow bush on the river ahead. But this red tree inspired many frustrated painting attempts

Just this year found the пышки place. Twenty rubles for hot sweetness is too good to pass by

Leaving and Grieving - Sosnovka - 26 June

 Goodbye, Sosnovka.

For a Colorado girl in a dense city of 5 million, to live across the street from a forested park was an incredible gift. This was my place of prayer and therapy, even if making it across the street was often too much for our pack of preschoolers.

I cried when we moved after 4 years, but still visited often. I would ski while the boys had baseball practice, pulling Ella on a sled roped to my waist.

And then we discovered Park Run, and it was the perfect reason to visit. Rain or snow, light or dark, 75-100 people gather every Saturday morning to run a free timed 5K. This is where I discovered the growing amateur sports community that broke all my stereotypes of Russian society. And this was the key for our nascent cross country team—the perfect events for runners of all levels, even Daniel Jay Coe’s varsity speed.

So today Eric and I went for one last Park Run Sosnovka. Meant to go slow but of course I got sucked in to the ethos and competition. My neural pathways are too well established, even if my body is not ready! I’m not going to state my time to avoid embarrassment from my actual runner friends, but it was not far from my best in the last few years. With no speed work and a base of mostly 3K commuting runs, I was pleased to be able to put in a solid effort. And now, I’m ready to nap— physical or emotional, it’s all exhausting.

Leaving Russia - Intro post

I want to duplicate my Facebook posts that serve for me to process the end of our time in Saint Petersburg.

June 13:

After 23 years of calling Russia 'home', we have made the hard decision to move back to the States this summer. There is much to grieve, and many goodbyes to be said. So grateful for the chance to have lived and raised our family in this amazing country where we have spent literally half of our lives.