With Family on Thanksgiving Day

Papa Coe with his Colorado grandkids

My parents and all their granddaughters.

22 November 2007

When I last wrote, I said we would be moving to Ukraine in mid-December. Well, we have decided to wait to move until January. When Eric left last week for Russia, we still didn’t have the support in to pay double rent so we decided to delay. As we discussed the idea, we realized that we would both love to stay for the end of Danya’s school year, and for Christmas. As we explained over and over again to others why we were leaving one week before Christmas, we were not even convincing even ourselves!

So, this will be easier now, but harder later. The options are complicated, but basically we hope to move to Kiev either one week before our January conference in Hungary, or arrive right after that conference. The complication comes in the fact that Eric has to be in Russia for a week after the conference. So either option would include finding a decent place to stay—either while we look for an apartment before the conference, or afterward for me and the kids while Eric is in Russia, and continuing while we search for an apartment once he returns.

We know this might be a hard time, but if we can find a decent living situation, I think it will be the best option. There are other options that we are exploring as well, so nothing is set. At this time, we’re hoping to leave around Jan 10.

Eric is currently in St. Petersburg. He has already met with the other ministry leaders, our campus leadership team, and the local leaders of campus teams across Russia. Now he’s spending Thanksgiving with our team before a few more days of meetings with them. He had planned to go to Kiev for 2 days, but will not as I explained above. And then he’ll finish with a few day conference in Hungary for all the National Campus Directors from the countries of Eastern Europe. He returns Dec 1^st.

This will be a long trip, but so far, I feel God has provided the help I’ve needed. Starting off sick is hard, (another sinus infection) but I think it makes the rest of the time feel easier! Danya and Tima had no school or preschool all week, but it hasn’t been as hard as I expected so far. My parents have been very willing to help a lot, and we have a new middle-school babysitter who is very well liked by the boys. Also, friends like Rachel Culbertson have volunteered a lot to help. And as usual, our neighbor walks Danya to school and home every day. I feel so blessed to get so much help, since I know I couldn’t do this without it!

Ella

She is 9-months-old now! Here are her stats from her well-child-check (at which she was sick with her first ear infection)

Wt 18 pounds (40^th %ile)

Length 28 inches (65^th %ile)

Both percentiles are down slightly from her 6-mo check-up

Waving. Ella loves to wave, but not good-bye. She sits in her highchair and waves at the boys. After watching visitors for awhile, she cuddles up on my shoulder and waves at them. And when people wave back, she smiles and waves even more.

Ella’s favorite sound is still ‘ga’. Occassionally she makes other consonant noises, but rarely. She is into a kissing motion, ‘pah’ smacking sound.

Now that she’s crawling, she’s very content to explore, or to sit and play with toys. She loves rattles, musical toys, and mirrors (where she claps her hands and waves at herself with a big smile)

She is learning to obey ‘no’. The one place that’s not allowed, but we’ve left purposefully reachable, is the bookshelf. She likes to pull loose papers out of our recipe files on the bottom shelf. But about 30% of the time, she’ll stop if I say, ‘no’. The boys are very vigilant, “Oh, no! Ella’s going for the bookshelf!”

Finger foods—Ella loves cheerios or peas. She’s okay with pieces of cooked carrot or potato, but has trouble getting them in her mouth. Often, she fusses when I sit her in the highchair, but she calms down with some Cheerios, enough for me to start feeding her with the spoon.

I have done a poor job of introducing new foods. Between her sickness and ‘testing’ her for continued dairy and coffee sensitivity in my diet, there haven’t been many periods of time in which I can start new foods and watch for allergic reactions. She eats mostly rice cereal and vegetables. Last week we finally added potatoes. I try to feed her from our foods when possible, whether cooked peas or veggies from our soups. But I know that as we travel and especially live at a hotel for a conference, I’d like for her to be eating a wider variety. (Actually, I know she will eat a wide variety there, so I’d like to try to introduce as many foods as possible earlier so that I know if she is sensitive to them. I am more paranoid than usual because of her continued dairy and (possible) peanut sensitivity.

When I wrote last month, we were all recovering from a bad cold. Then we got another, and another. All together, someone has been sick for over a month. Ella’s latest was a 10 day cold that ended up with an ear infection. She has been sleeping poorly, with at least one nighttime feeding for the last 5 weeks. Sometimes she is up for three feedings. That’s a lot for me! But she’s on antibiotics, last night was good, and I’m hopeful.

Adding to her fussiness this week was two vaccinations, and her 7^th tooth emerged.

Tima

When I hug him in my lap. When I can see the boys are needing extra attention, I’ve started to blatently tell them, “I’m going to fill up your love tank.” Then I jug and squeeze or tickle them. Yesterday, Tima was sitting in my lap as I read a book to him. I was holding him tightly, and when I let go, he said, “I’m not filled up yet!”

With the first snow fall, we find that we’ve lost our favorite expression from last year. Yes, we’ve been trying to teach him to say ‘s’ sounds. But it’s a little sad when there are no more ‘nowy days. Tima still has to pay attention and put extra effort to get the ‘s’ in there. He elongates and emphasizes the ‘s’ or ‘sh’ of most words. But strangely, his ‘th’ has degraded to ‘sh’: “Shank you!”

Tima is less angry and aggressive than he was when I wrote the last update. But he still is the aggressor when playing with Danya. He often takes toys from Danya, or if Danya does something that Tima doesn’t like, Tima just strikes out. He even bit Danya once this week, in a race to turn off the t.v.

For some reason, Tima loves to take baths in Ella’s inflatable bathtub. He curls up in it and pretends to be a baby. Last night he told me to sing a song, then leave him alone so ‘the baby can sleep.’ He’s pretty cute curled up in there.

Danya

Danya received good grades on first report card. It’s surprising to me that he’s already getting grades, but I guess that’s what they do ate school.

He’s reading more and more by sounding out words. He learns words by sight quickly, so that by the 2^nd or 3^rd page of a book with a lot of simple, repeating words, he’s not sounding them out anymore. But there are still very few books he can sit down and read. His teacher told us, though, that by this time next year, he’ll be reading chapter books by himself.

Today Danya is excited to set up a ‘book fair’ at Thanksgiving dinner. He will display his books for all the relatives to see (but not buy, apparently!) We’ve gone through the old ones and written words on every page. It’s interesting to see how Danya’s drawing has progressed from stick figures to people made of circles, ovals and rectangles, with details like hair and fingers.

Both boys were very happy for our first snow fall. (Can you believe we got our first snowy day on Nov 21^st?) But Danya is enjoying it most of all. He was begging me to go outside and play by 8:00 that morning!

Well, I’m going to keep this short as far as the kids update so that I can send it before we leave!

Love

Kara

November 4, 2007

Have you noticed that suddenly, it’s November? How did that happen? I’ve jotted down notes during the last few weeks, so this might feel like an outline….because it is!

Suddenly, we have six weeks until we plan to leave for Kiev. And it seems pretty short, since we have basically 2 weeks until Eric leaves, 2 weeks with him gone, and then 2 weeks to pack and move! Our last few weeks have not gone as planned, so we feel very behind on all fronts. Eric’s Grandpa Ward passed away last week, and Eric spent the week in Ohio with his family. It was hard, as expected, to grieve his grandfather’s passing, but also good to be there together. We are grateful that we’ve been in the States for both my grandmother’s funeral (last year) and Eric’s grandfather’s. There are times when nothing can take the place of simply being together.

Unfortunately, we’ve also all been sick a lot. Eric had a bad cold before he went to Ohio, and Ella and I came down with it right before he left. Danya and Tima seemed to just get runny noses, and didn’t even miss a day of school. I ended up with a sinus infection, and just today I’m feeling better. And Ella seems to have turned the corner as well. She’s had some really rough nights, pretending she’s a newborn again. (I still contend that she’s jealous of her twin cousins and wants the same attention.) Yesterday was hard until about 11pm, but the night was good. And this morning she wasn’t leaking goop like usual.

Ella
crawling 10/15—the object that prompted her to crawl was a shiny metal-looking toy pistol. Before that, she would rock on her hands and knees, and scoot a little by falling forward from that position. But there was a gun across the room from her and she stayed on hands and knees, moving them in tiny steps, but not stopping until she reached the object of her affections. Since then, she’s continued to crawl, still pretty slowly, and only when she’s motivated. Her own toys never motivate her. But anything of the boys, or any piece of paper, is like an Ella-magnet!

We knew the house wasn’t thoroughly child-proofed, and she’s daily showing us what else we need to do. We closed the cabinet doors with a rubber band, and now one of her favorite activities is to try to open them and watch them bounce back. (Maybe that’s why you’re not supposed to use rubber bands to child-proof!)

A few times a day I hear calls of, “Mom, can you get Ella?” or, “Mom, I don’t want Ella to touch my cars/toys/spaceship.” For Tima, especially, this is a new era of sister-relations!

turning front to back--10/20. (Ella had never done this before, though I think normally babies do it much earlier.) She always rolls from a crawl or scooting position, so she basically falls over onto her back.

sat up from a crawl --10/25.

Peek-a-boo 10/17 After last month starting to wave bye-bye and clap her hands for pat-a-cake, she surprised us again with exuberant games of peek-a-boo. She’s been laughing at us when we do it for months, but a few weeks ago, she figured out how to hold something in front of her face and then drop it down. Now, she does this constantly, even while I’m singing her a lullaby. She pulls back from my shoulder, lifts the burp cloth over her face, then lowers it quickly and giggles. When her diaper’s being changed she also will use anything she can get her hands on—clothes, diapers, toys, to cover her eyes.

She started closing her eyes to play, as well. It’s hard to tell what she’s trying to do. But when Eric walks into the room, she often squints her eyes shut, wrinkles her nose, and shows her teeth. It looks like a toddler learning to do a fake smile for a photo. She does the same when I hand her a new toy.

Pincer grasp noticed 11/1—she’s eating Cheerios for finger food, and they occupy her very well. Just this week I realized she no longer does the raking claw action to pick them up.

Nuzzling, cuddling, tickling—Ella loves snuggling into our shoulders, being held and tickled. Often, she’s content to sit on my lap for 20 minutes after a feeding, just playing with my hands, buttons on my shirt, or being tickled.

Looking upside down—She often leans backwards to see the world upside down. And laughs.

Temper tantrums. Can a 8-month-old have temper tantrums? Ella has a certain angry cry that is a lot like a two-years-old’s. The strangest times are at late-night feedings, when I think she’s hungry, but screams when put to the breast (or bottle), or picked up, or carried, or put back down.

Loud! Shrieking all the time. Sometimes when I’ve left her to play in her crib, I can’t tell if she’s crying or having fun. She can be really loud with happy screams. She loves to bang anything that makes noise. It’s my theory that she thinks roaring is a normal way to communicate. After all, her brothers are lions.

Bathtub—loves it. Last week (10/27) she was blowing through her pursed lips while leaning her face toward the water. Two times she blew bubbles. Two times she choked as she accidentally inhaled. She often is happy for a long time. But sometimes she tries to get on her knees and then falls in the water. And she loves to splash.

Tima

Tima also has some angry moments. Two weeks ago, he got into throwing toys and books. When we took the books off his bed as a punishment for throwing one of them, he promptly threw his water cup. And therefore lost his privilege to have that on his bed, as well. The last week has been better. His negative emotions are more whining and crying. He’s been building a lot out of big legos, and will get upset when he can’t make something like he wants it. He says that it used to be a certain way, but no matter how I try to rebuild it, he claims it’s not right. And he wails.

The day after he was punished for throwing things, two of his preschool teachers independently said that he is so sweet and they won’t let us take him to Ukraine. I feel repetitive writing about how sweet and affectionate he is. But we never get tired of it! He spontaneously tells Eric that he loves him around 5-10 times each day, and loves to play a game where he tries to kiss Eric, but Eric won’t let him. He loves to sit in our laps for stories, loves to be ticked or carried. He loves to help me cook, clean or do laundry, and always wants to go with Eric on errands. When Eric returned from Ohio, he tells him over and over things like, “It’s fun to be together,” and “I missed you, Daddy.”

Speaking of ‘missed’, Tima’s ‘s’ sounds are really coming through. Some words, like “Spider-man” still often lack them. But he can do at least a ‘sh’ sound on those words if he tries. And words with an ‘s’ sound in the middle he almost always says correctly.

Swimming lessons—For the last four weeks, the boys have gone to lessons twice a week. Tima has really progressed, learning to float (with assistance) on front and back, and starting to gain forward movement by kicking and some paddling. He loves to practice in the bathtub, asking for it to be deeper so that, “my head goes down and my body goes up.”

Taking care of Tima largely involves following instructions. “Mom, say, ‘Bear, come here.’” “Mom, say, ‘Danya, come pet Bear the dog.’” Whenever I ask him to do something, he asks if I can pretend he is Dash (the Super-kid from the Incredibles) or Bear (the dog our friends own). “Mom, say, ‘Dash, please clear your dishes.’” “Mom, say, ‘Dash, get your shoes on.’” Somedays, when he is dressed in his Dash costume, he reminds me that he is still Bear the dog, but that Bear is pretending to be Dash today. So it can be very complicated!

For a Halloween fun-house at the local high school, Tima didn’t want to wear his Batman mask because it might scare people. We had to convince him that everyone would be in costume, so they wouldn’t be scared by him.

Danya

“I love writing.” Danya spends hours each day writing. He often has little tantrums when it is time to eat/get dressed/go play outside, or anything that involves stopping writing.

We are amazed with his progress in school. He can read a lot of words that he’s learned by sight, and is sounding out a lot of others. When he writes, we mostly have to ask him what letter he thinks comes next, and (except for words like ‘through,’ ‘bright,’ ‘our’) he usually knows what it is.

Books books books. He draws 4-6 pictures, then staples the pages together, then writes the words to the stories. We have about 30 of these books now. (Would you like one? I’d love to send you one!) They are much more readable now that he puts spaces between the words. Punctuation is pretty hit or miss. For awhile, he was putting ! after each word. Interesting effect.

Sometimes they are narratives:

Cover: “Danya’s trip to the Pumpkin Patch”
Danya riding on the bus The driver had to slam the brakes to stop for the red light
We are there. This is going to be a lot of fun I hope we have a field trip
I picked the biggest roundest pumpkin I could find
I tried the hay bale maze. I got to the middle
Now its time to go back to our school
Now we are in the bus

And sometimes not:
Brown tree with brown leaves.
Brown tree with yellow leaves.
Brown tree with orange leaves.
Brown tree with red leaves.
(of that, I helped him with the first sentence. Then I reminded him that he has all the color words in a poem he memorized for school. So he looked up the rest in his poetry folder and wrote it all without asking for help.

Harry

I’ve been busier than usual this last month, taking care of our 4^th child. You didn’t know? Well, he lives in books, so I don’t have to do a lot. But at certain times, he gets himself in a lot of trouble, and whenever my kids are sleeping, I have to go take care of Harry Potter. I knew it was stupid to open the 5^th book when Eric was gone, and I was sick. But I still managed to read it without staying up all night. The 6^th book, though lasted just 30 hours. (Although I haven’t stayed up too late reading, I know I should nap during the day instead of read. And there was one time I made lunch while reading…not very effective at either activity.)

I’m thinking of submitting a question to Word Fugitive, about a word for “when you’ve finished a book and feel lonely because it’s as if your friends aren’t hanging around with you anymore.” Or, “the feeling when a fictional character dies and you spend days as if in mourning.” And they say that computers have invented the ‘virtual world’. I think whenever I read a good book, I have trouble staying grounded in the real world instead of living in the fictional one. (My dad pointed this out when I was 10 or 11, I think.)

So, I’ve committed to wait a full week before starting the 7^th book. I’m trying to go slowly, because I know after that, it will be all over. And I’m already sad. (I know for those of you who read all the books as they came out, with years in between, my week-long Harry-fast will seem pretty trivial!)
Love
Kara