Danya
[Danya is on the far left.]
Wow, I didn't expect to see many changes, but there were, although subtle in many ways. He seems so grown up and more responsible, helping all of us (even Tima and Ella) frequently by playing, entertaining, or explaining things to them. It was touching to watch him peeling carrots and other veggies, looking just like his dad (what a great role model!).
I really enjoyed playing soccer with him. (He didn't really understand why I sometimes wouldn't play - I tried to explain that it is very strange to his Ukrainian neighbors to see his grandmother playing soccer... actually, I don't really understand either, so I'm glad I did play! Never in my fondest dreams did I imagine playing soccer with my grandkids when I became a grandma!) Of course right now I'm only a teeny bit better than he is, and only because I'm older and bigger!
It was agonizing for me to watch Danya's soccer practice, in part because he was the youngest and the smallest boy out there, and partly because he seemed to be clueless when I know he isn't. Perhaps it was the language or just being new, but he's a lot better soccer player than what he showed. I told Dad that watching Danya play goalie was almost as hard as watching you dive, Kara. Again, when he played with Tima and Dad and me, he was very aggressive stopping the ball, but at practice he seemed detached and not aggressive at all. I just wanted him to do well!
One of my most vivid memories is of the walks we took (Dad, Danya, and
me) when we were staying at Olga's cabin in the woods. The first day we walked to the little lake and I sat basking in the sun while Dad and Danya skipped rocks. The only problem was, we couldn't find any rocks, let alone flat ones good for skipping. So they tried all sorts of things without much success.
Our second walk too us past the lake and around in a big circle, looking for the "back way" into Olga's property, which we apparently missed. When we walked past a sign (in Cyrillic) Danya said he hoped it didn't warn of something dangerous. He also figured out that, while we wouldn't be able to explain to anyone that we couldn't read the sign, he would be able to say in Russian "I'm sorry I don't understand." At one point Olga's dog Rrrrrrrada got very aggressive with a man we met on a bicycle, with Rada acting like she was protecting us. Of course we couldn't communicate with the man (or the dog), and Danya tried to tell Rada in Russian to "Come", which didn't work. Danya also worried about Rada falling into the lake (luckily she didn't), and I'm not sure he believed us when we said dogs could swim. But the surprising thing to me was that Danya was so concerned that we were lost, although I kept reassuring him that his Grandpa has an excellent sense of direction and wasn't lost. When we came out on the road to Olga's cabin, Danya gave Rada credit for finding the way home!
Things I loved: His unembarrassed affection for us (how long will that last?), his sense of humor, his quick wit and intelligence (even when he was "tripping us up" trying to work our way out of things we said without thinking). I learned to never say "always" or "never"
around him! I also love and admire his desire to understand how or why things work the way they do.
Tima:
I love Tima's sense of humor and his mischievous streak (which I know would drive me crazy as a parent) and his innocence, sometimes real and sometimes not. I love his bravado and daring, and I feel bad for him that he'll (in his mind) always be second to his older brother.
Tima has perhaps changed the most of the three, in subtle and not-so- subtle ways. His vocabulary is much improved (not that he was behind before you left), and his grammar remains interesting. But he definitely knows how to get his ideas across! His maturity shows in many ways, including his "reading" stories to Ella, and also being able to really pick out words from a book. He has learned how to compromise (I guess that comes with being the second-born), but it surprised me how often he is able to manipulate Danya into doing what he (Tima) wants. Sometimes I don't even think Danya realizes what Tima is doing.
He has changed physically, looking much taller and thinner. In fact at the airport when you and Tima met us, I did a double-take to be sure it was Tima and not Danya. It was very special to me that Tima would come with you to the airport, and that he was so patient with all the waiting, especially when we were getting things settled at the church.
Tima's love for dogs and cats is very touching. Sometimes I worried that he was getting too close to strange dogs, especially out on the playground, but it always seemed to work out okay. He is a very tender-hearted boy, and he was so affectionate with the dogs at Olga's. I have a clear picture in my mind of him petting Rrrrrada and the other dog ("Wide Chest").
He's so typically all boy, and so typically 4! It seemed he was constantly in hot water (completely justified) for not listening and/ or not obeying when he really didn't mean to misbehave. He just gets so wrapped up in whatever he's doing that he just completely forgets to do what he's supposed to be doing (such as sitting down on the bus or in the paddle boat).
It was fun to watch Tima in his Superman cape, especially the day he wore it to the market, and flying around the apartment. It was always important to him to make sure he had the cape with the "T" so he knew it was his cape. And he's such a role model for Ella, whether he means to be or not. She mimics his every move! I also enjoyed watching his gymnastics, although he seems awfully reckless and seems to land so hard. Doesn't he ever feel pain? He tried to get me to do cartwheels in the apartment (I had already declined to do them outside), and I did a few wimpy ones, mostly afraid I'd get hurt on the hard wood floors. Guess I'll have to practice up for next summer!
One other memory of Tima was when he put the rubber bands on the knobs of the kitchen drawers. I just assumed he had done it before, so I was surprised to learn it was the first time and he had done it on his own. It was really special that he put all the rubber bands away without even being asked!
Ella:
Where shall I start? At first she was so woeful because she was sick and obviously didn't want strangers stealing away some of her mom's attention! And she was so clingy to you, Kara! But then gradually she began to warm up to us, until at the end we were just like family!
My most special memories include her "Please" in sign language, looking kind of like she was making a motion to slit her throat (that sounds much more brutal than it was), and doing it so quickly that I usually missed it. That's how she always answered "Yes." And of
course her "No", yelling "Nah, nah, nah, nah... And also her special
laugh which is so rewarding. I can hear it now, as she put her hands to the side of her face to say "Oh, my goodness", just like Adi and Mae. And her blowing kisses! Much better than via the web cam!
And how could I forget those temper tantrums (I remember her having them at 8 or 9 months old)??? They are just like her Mama used to do, and with the same consequence, being carried into her room to kick and scream in solitary! That certainly brought back memories to me, Kara!
One of my favorite things with Ella was the day we played with the kids on a playground near the market while you shopped, Kara. There was a piece of playground equipment that was meant to go around like a merry-go-round, except it was extremely hard to push. The boys tried and tried to push it, straining and grunting with the effort. And the next thing we knew, Ella was pushing hard, using exactly the same form as the boys, and she was grunting in exactly the same way. It was hilarious to watch her. And I'll cherish the day she followed Tima wearing her Superman cape, waving her arms and saying, "Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh!"
Another picture I have in mind was the day we went to the park and Ella was playing with a push toy that belonged to another little girl (whose Mom said Ella could play with it). A little boy came along and he really wanted the push toy, but Ella was quite adept at keeping the toy away from him. She could twist and turn and maneuver to keep herself between the boy and the toy. Obviously the training with her two big brothers has paid off!
As close as Ella was to talking, I'm sure she'll be saying lots by the time we see her again. Not only is she mimicking words and syllables,but she just rattles off whole sentences of gibberish which will soon turn to real sentences! And if she's like Tima, she'll really take off with her talking when she's in Colorado next summer.
Life in General:
I'm amazed (although I should be used to it by now) at how you and Eric have adapted and made such a wonderful life for yourselves and the kids in a new culture. Just moving would be overwhelming for most families with kids the ages of yours, and you have not only moved half- way around the world, but are adapting to a new city, culture, friends, job, home-schooling, and just about everything else. Your kids are happy and well adjusted, and seem to be adapting quite easily to a new environment. I wish I had just a fraction of your ability to turn any situation or set of circumstances into something good.
